Senior Citizen Jokes

Are you searching for cool senior citizens jokes? The National Senior Citizens Day is fast approaching so it’s not surprising that some people would search for jokes. Senior citizens have done so much for the country that it is only right they are given a day. And this august, you can do something to honor older people.

What Is Senior Citizens Day?

This august Americans will observe the Senior Citizens Day, a day to honor and support the senior citizens. Various activities and events will be organized to raise awareness of recognizing the achievements of older people.

August 21 is the declared National Senior Citizens Day. But some people will also celebrate the Seniors Citizens Day on August 14, in accordance to the Social Security Act signed by President Franklin Roosevelt in 1935. Anyway, whatever date you decided to celebrate Senior Citizens Day, the most important thing is you honor the older people who made a big contribution to the communities.

Senior Citizen Jokes

Below are some of the senior citizen jokes that you can share to senior folks who can make and take a joke.

Clean Senior Citizen Jokes

“Three Senior Pals”
Three seniors are out for a stroll.
One of them remarks, “It’s windy.”
Another reply, “No way it’s Thursday.”
The last one says, “Me too. Let’s have a soda.”

An elderly man was having hearing problems and went to see a specialist. The doctor fitted him with some hearing aids that brought his hearing back to full strength.
After a few weeks the man came back to make sure the new equipment was working properly, which it was.
The hearing specialist said, “It all seems perfect. Your family should be delighted you can hear everything now.”

“Oh no,” the man responded. “I haven’t told any of them. I just sit quietly, listening carefully. I’ve changed my will four times.”

An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, but cut each one into four pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.”

The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore, as I’m over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”

An elderly gent was invited to his old friends’ home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his with endearing terms-Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

The couple had been married almost 70 years, and clearly they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, “I think it’s wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.”

The old many hung his head. “I have to tell you the truth,” he said, “I forgot her name about 10 years ago.”

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. ‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’ The wife stared at him. ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’ The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.’

Funny Senior Citizen Jokes

Hospital rules state that patients checking out must have a wheelchair.

One day a newly graduated nurse assistant came into the room to find an elderly man fully dressed. He was sitting on the bedside chair, with a piece of packed luggage at his side, all ready to go.
When he was shown the wheelchair, he was adamant that he was fully capable of walking himself to the parking lot. But the assistant told him rules were rules, so he relented and let her wheel him out.

In the elevator, the assistant asked the elderly man if his wife was coming to meet him. “I don’t think so,” he replied. “It takes her awhile to change her clothes, so she’s probably still upstairs in the bathroom taking off her hospital gown and getting dressed.”

On an overseas flight, a lawyer and an older man were in adjoining seats. The lawyer asked the senior if he’d like to play a little game. The older man was tired, and he told the lawyer he only wanted to sleep. But the lawyer insisted the game was a lot of fun.

“Here’s how it works,” he said. “I’ll ask you a question. If you can’t come up with the answer, you have to give me a dollar. Then it’s your turn to ask me one. But if I can’t answer it, I have to give you $20.”

The senior figured if he just got this over with, maybe he could get some sleep. So he agreed to play. The first question from the lawyer was “How far apart are the earth and the moon?” The senior stayed completely silent, reached for a dollar, and gave it to the lawyer. Then he said, “My turn. What walks upstairs backward and comes downstairs forward?”

The lawyer was stumped. He thought and thought. He tried to remember all the riddles he knew. He searched every corner of his brain. He even cheated and asked the flight attendants and other passengers.

Finally he gave up. He woke up the older man and gave him a twenty. The senior stuffed the twenty in his coat and went immediately back to sleep. The lawyer couldn’t stand it. He woke up the older man and said, “I have to know. What walks upstairs backward and comes downstairs forward?” The senior got out his wallet, gave the lawyer a dollar, and went back to sleep.

Senior Citizen Jokes One Liner

Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around!

I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.

“Genuine Antique Person,” Been there, done that, can’t remember!