Are you looking to find some Halloween jokes? Many people across the globe celebrate Halloween with fun activities such as a costume party, playing trick and treat and other activities that will make the day worth remembering. Halloween Jokes for kids and adults are not just stress reliever but also a wonderful way to break the ice in a Halloween party.
Halloween Day, which is celebrated, on October 31 or before All Saints Day is a joyful event. Many people celebrate the day with friends, relatives, and co-worker to make the day even more fun.
Halloween Jokes, Halloween Joke
If you are also planning a party or organizing an event and want to heighten things up a little bit, the following Halloween jokes can certainly help you out.
Q – Why couldn’t the mummy attend the meeting?
A – He was all tied up.
Q – In what room of the house would you never find a ghost?
A – The living room.
Q – What do ghosts enjoy for lunch?
A – Boologna sandwiches, peanutbooter cookies & a salad with boocheese dressing.
Q – Why didn’t the wraith win at poker?
A – He didn’t have a ghost of a chance.
Q – What is a vampire’s least favorite meal?
A – Stake !!
Q – What do vampires enjoy most about baseball?
A – The bats
Q – What spook lives in the “hundred acre wood”?
A – Winnie the Boo
Q – Who did the boy monster take to the Halloween dance?
A – His bootiful ghoul-friend.
Q – How can you spot a vampire jockey?
A – They always win by a neck !
Q – What do you call a monster that has been locked in a freezer all night?
A – A cool ghoul!
Q – Why aren’t vampires good gamblers?
A – They always make “sucker bets” !
Q – What did the guard out in front of the haunted house say when he saw the spirit approaching?
A – “Halt! Who ghosts there?!”
Q – What does Dracula always say to his victims afterwards?
A – “Fangs”! (thanks !)
Q – What is a vampires favorite holiday?
A – Fangsgiving.
Q – What kind of candy won’t a ghost ever touch?
A – Lifesavers
Q – What do ghosts say when they hear great jokes like these?
A – Booooo !!!
Q – Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry?
A – They’re afraid of flying off the handle.
Q – What four things do monsters enjoy eating on Halloween?
A – Ghoulash and I Scream with booberry pie and ghoul-aid.
Q – What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A – Neck tarines
Q – What is in the red blood cells of monsters?
A – Hemogoblin !!!
Q – Why do witches prefer to live in hotels?
A – They like the broom service!
Q – Who do monsters always buy their cookies from?
A – The Ghoul Scouts!
Q – What do you get if you cross a monster with an owl?
A – An animal that frightens people but doesn’t give a hoot!
Q – Why don’t skeletons like to eat spicy food?
A – They can’t stomach it!
Q – What did the bartender say to the vampire?
A – This blood’s for you!
Q – What kind of ghosts haunt skyscrapers?
A – High spirits !!!
Q – What do they call the heaviest female phantom?
A – The “ghostess with the mostess”.
Q – What flies through the night, has a black cape, and bites people?
A – A mosquito wearing a black cape.
Q – What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
A – “Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back”.
Q – What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack?
A – Count Duckula !
Q – What is a ghost’s favorite Old West town?
A – Tombstone.
Q – What sort of violin do ghosts prefer to play?
A – A genuine Dreadivarius.
Q – What do spooks call their Navy?
A – The ghost guard.
Q – Who was the smartest monster maker?
A – Dr. Frank Einstein
Q – What two types of music do mummies like best?
A – Rag time and Wrap.
Q – Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A – Because he had no body to take !
Q – When does a ghost need a license?
A – During “haunting” season.
Q – What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
A – Casket Ball !!!
Q – What do you call a mummy who eats cookies in bed?
A – A crumby mummy!
Q – Why do Casper’s phone bills tend to be so high each month?
A – He is always calling ghost-to-ghost.
Q – What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A – Boo Boos
Q – What rule does a polite little ghost always obey?
A – Don’t spook until spooken to.
Q – What is a vampire’s favorite flavor of ice cream?
A – Veinilla
Q – What is the hardest thing to sell to a mummy?
A – Life Insurance.
Q – How do you keep a skeleton from laughing?
A – Take away his funny bone!
Q – Where do ghosts keep their cars?
A – In a mirage.
Q – What did the monster do when he lost his hand?
A – He went to a second hand store.
Q – Why wouldn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A – Because he didn’t have any guts.
Q – What are a spook’s two favorite rides at the fair?
A – The roller ghoster and the merry ghoul round.
Q – What happened to the vampire who tried to gain weight by eating more?
A – It did not work… it was all in vein.
Funny Halloween Jokes
Dirty Halloween Jokes
Adult Halloween Jokes, Halloween Jokes for Adults
The following are phrases that sounds dirty but are not, so sharing these adult Halloween jokes is not a bad idea.
- If you just lick it, it’ll last longer.
- I’d like to get a little something in the sack.
- Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
- So…What’d you get in the sack?
- They’ll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
- Have someone check the goodies before they go into your mouth.
- Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
- It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
- Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
- Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
- Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
- Stick your hand in and guess what you’re feeling….
- I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn’t get my mouth around it!
- I got the best piece from that house.
- She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
Kids Halloween Jokes, Halloween Jokes for Kids
The following funny Halloween jokes are classic humor that will surely make any kids laugh or smile. Enjoy the Halloween jokes for kids, and share them to your friends and loved ones.
- What happened when the young which misbehaved? She was sent to her broom.
- I have 24 legs, 12 arms and 6 heads, what am I? A liar!
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween party? Because he had no-body to go with.
- What do ghosts serve for dessert? I scream!
- How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
- Why don’t mummies have hobbies? Because they’re too wrapped up in their work.
- What should you do when zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween.
- Why do witches use brooms? Because vacuum cleaners are far too heavy!
- What do you call a witch at the beach? A sandwich.
- Why did the cyclops give up teaching? Because he only had one pupil.
- Where does Dracula keep his valuables? In a blood bank.
- Where does Dracula stay in New York? The Vampire State Building.
Halloween Riddles
My first is in demon and also in dread,
My second is in Hades and also in head
My third is in river and also in dive
My fourth is in fifteen and also in five
My fifth is in bluster and also in talk
My whole has horns and carries a pitchfork.
What Am I?
Its Right behind you,
Creeps on the ground,
Follow you home,
Does not make sound.
What it is?
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